Porn Of The Rings

Hey, has anybody done this yet?

I keep thinking there’s just way, WAY too much fodder here. Enough to make Tolkien roll over in his grave and give Peter Jackson a sufficiently large heart attack to put him in one. There are too many examples to cite for the porn possibilities but to name a few off the top of my head:

In the Shire:

Gandalf: He is seeking it, Frodo. Seeking it with every fiber of his being.

Frodo: What’s your hand seeking in my pants? That’s not my pocket, y’know…

Upon encountering Galadriel at the pool in Lothlorien:

Frodo: What will I see?

Galadriel: My amazing hooters!

(Throws herself into pool and stands up to reveal she wears no bra, then begins to strip)

Bao-chika-bao-bao… (written equivalent of porno wa-wa guitar music)

In The Two Towers:

ANYTIME Gollum says “My Precious” he’s staring at his crotch…