Dear God, Stop Me From Killing Again! Naah, It’s Too Much Fun…

Grand Theft Auto III finally bit the dust earlier today.

Grand Theft Auto: Vice City begins, and it is already exponentially cooler in one major way:

THE EIGHTIES!

It’s like being trapped in a psychotic version of Miami Vice, oh my GOD, I love this game so much… The nostalgia trip alone of hearing “Billie Jean” and “I Wear My Sunglasses At Night” on a virtual radio with a DJ intro and everything was enough to make me drive the car to side of the road and listen in a fit of nostalgic apoplexy…

It’s all there, man! The neon, the pastel colors, the tasteless clothes, I feel like I’m 12 again except now I can shoot and run over the people who were so much cooler than me. AND I can now say they look like dorks and people actually agree with me! WOW! VIDEO-GAMES ARE A MIRACLE! A MIRACLE!!

This is so rad. This is totally awesome! Only a nimrod would, like, say this is grody, and if a nimrod says something is totally grody, it’s like, gag me with a spoon fer sure, what do they know? They’re nimrods to the max…

Must return… Hookers in dire need of fatal beatings…