Sigh…

It’s been a while, (Then again, I haven’t submitted anything short in years) but Flashquake rejected Famine & Pestilence Go To Dinner. Fortunately, they’re good enough to tell you why they rejected you and thus, gave me the voting system they used:

Here are our editors’ comments:

Ed. 5 Vote No

Ed. 5 Comments This is original but some of the prose is very awkward (e.g., “…her eyes shutting in an ecstacy of flavor”) I would like to see this again if the author revises and prunes it.

So no matter how far you think you’ve gotten, you always gotta’ remember two things.

1) There’s always room for improvement.

2) Not everyone is going to like your stuff.

Fortunately having been rejected by numerous women over the years, this is somewhat easier to take. “I don’t like your story” is always easier to swallow than, “I don’t like you.”

I’m going to console myself by at least remembering that they didn’t think it totally sucked. As I see it, I only got one definite “No,” two no’s with the caveat that it needs work, then they’d like it, and two maybes. So while I admit that shorts are still definitely a weak area for me, at least the writing is still sound to a certain degree. Oh well… Back to the word processor, right after I finish “Batman” it’s hunkering down with Serial Jen.

Man, I really suck at titles.

You Suck! No, You Suck! No You ALL Suck!

This is so cool!

Relive the horror of elementary school with a truly evil shockwave game called SissyFight2000! It’s a variation on paper/rock/scissors, but multiplayer online, with chat function, and the premise is you’re a snooty girl trying to humiliate the other snooty girls and become the meanest, most popular kid in the school yard! Every player starts out with 10 “self-esteem” points and you brutally, systematically eliminate other players through a selection of moves available during the 90 second countdown before the resulting mayhem is shown. Aggressive moves include “Tease”, which only works in tandem with another player, the more players teasing, the more self-esteem is lost, “Scratch”, which only takes off one point, and the passive aggressive move, “Grab” which prevents players from taking ANY action and leaves them wide open to teasing and scratching. Then there’s the super move, “Tattle,” where you snitch on EVERYONE and they all lose 3 points.

Defensive moves include “Cower”, which renders you invulnerable to attack, but if you do it too many times in a row, you humiliate yourself and lose points, and “Lick My Lollipop” which not only heals 2 points, but renders you invulnerable to “Tattle” because you’re too innocent looking at the moment. The downside is if someone decides to scratch you while licking your lolly, you choke on it and lose 2 points from burning humiliation.

The key to victory, strangely enough seems to be teamwork. If you can make friends and allies, you can double team for grab/scratch, multi-tease combos. The game makes it possible for two people to win, so partners are invaluable to success. And I love the chat function, just ’cause it makes it possible to schmooze other potential enemies if you say something mean to someone else about their mother, and the other players think it’s hilarious and decide to hook up with you just for sheer entertainment value alone.

There are many valuable real world lessons to be learned from this game…