Recasting Episode III

It occurs to me that perhaps the last of the Star Wars prequels might have been saved with a little bit of recasting. Of course, retroactively this applies to the entire run of prequels, but I imagine I would have gotten a lot more enjoyment (unintentional and otherwise) had certain characters been replaced with others.

For example, Mace Windu as portrayed by Mr. T

Mace: I pity the fool who falls to the dark side, I pity him!

Clone Trooper: Your ship is ready sir.

Mace: No! I ain’t goin’ on no ship, I hate ships!

[Clone Trooper sticks a needle in his neck to knock him out]

Deeply Troubled Joaquin Phoenix as Anakin Skywalker

[When he wakes up from his dream of Padme dying]

Anakin: I had a… deeply troubling dream.

[When Palpatine reveals he is a Sith Lord]

Anakin: This is… deeply troubling.

[When he is seduced by the Dark Side]

Anakin: I am… deeply troubled.

Al Pacino as Palpatine:

Palpatine: If were half the Sith I used to be, I’D TAKE A FLAME THROWER TO THIS PLACE.

Sylvester Stallone as Chewbacca:

Chewbacca: HUAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

(Okay, admittedly not much difference there…)

Edward Norton as C-3PO

C-3PO: This is C-3PO’s outrage at being treated like a stupid droid.

Anakin: Your outrage is… deeply troubling.

C-3PO: This is C-3PO’s urge to kill asserting itself.

Keanu Reeves as Obi Wan Kenobi

Obi Wan: Dude! You are like TOTALLY giving into your hate!

Anakin: Your criticism… deeply troubles me.

[Ignites lightsaber]

Obi Wan: You are acting in a most non-triumphant manner! Like, I must totally fight you now!

[Performs "air saber". Electric guitar rocks in background. Anakin hits him in the shoulder]

Obi Wan: That is so heinous, dude…

Ian McKellen as Count Dooku:

Count: YOU… SHALL NOT… PASS!

Obi Wan: You are an EXcellent shouter, dude!

[Dooku drops a ton of rock on Obi Wan]

Obi Wan: That is so heinous, dude…

Animal from The Muppets as Yoda:

Mace: Yoda! Them fools are letting Palpatine yell in the senate!

Yoda: RAWWWWWWWRGH!

[Clamps down on Mace's arm]

Mace: I pity the fool that bites my arm…