George Lucas Raped My Childhood

That one’s for Allan.

Anyway, today we finally took the plunge and I walked into one of our usual DVD stores, ponied up a card with all of our purchases stamped on it, all filled out–thus entitling us to a $20 discount–and we got ourselves Star Wars: Episode III: Revenge of the Sith on DVD.

I watched this in the theaters a few weeks after it came out, with a couple of curious friends. The Wife did not even want to do that, so watching it later tonight will be her first experience of the movie.

I am saddened by this film.

I pretty much agree with Trey Stone and Matt Parker. They echoed my sentiments that sometimes you need someone to tell you when something doesn’t work, whether it’s Southpark, or Star Wars. George Lucas no longer has that. Whether he realized it or not, the constraints he had when he was starting his career–and his lack of participation in The Empire Strikes Back–created a relevant, modern mythology for a media drunk generation of children. Star Wars was myth that we could relate to. It was a pure, unadulterated adventure with likeable characters, classic storytelling elements and–on a more technical level–good acting, pacing and direction. That is why Star Wars went on to become part of our cultural lexicon, why people know what you mean when you talk about the Force, and why everyone seems to know who Darth Vader is, even if they’ve never even seen the movies.

Episode III however is none of those things. And while I understand the reasons for why it’s that way, I’m nonetheless saddened by the fact that George had the opportunity in his grasp to create something great again, and deliberately, consciously chose to pass it up. Maybe he didn’t want that responsibility again. Maybe he thought once was enough. Whatever the case, he not only decided not to create Star Wars for a new generation (Instead passing the torch to Peter Jackson, who MORE than made up for it with the amazing Lord of the Rings trilogy) he was too lazy to even just try and make a good MOVIE. So okay, fine, you don’t want to make another pop culture icon, fair enough, but man, couldn’t you have at least made a decent POPCORN FLICK? Star Wars, once the hallmark of a good time that would engage the imagination and provide a romp of fancy and adventure instead got beaten out by a rich guy who’s parents got shot and consequently forced him to dress up as a bat and beat the crap out of people. Better acting, better pacing, better writing, better characterization and a sense that there was a genuine desire to entertain beat out a much more expensive affair that felt like one long extended promotional video for the toys, video games and other merchandising that followed in Episode III’s wake.

But here I am, with a new DVD. George got the money, because I needed my closure. I have every other DVD, I needed to get this one. I know I won’t watch it with the frequency of the original trilogy (Those feel like fairy tales, this feels like a commercial) but it’s kind of an interesting sort of cautionary tale for me. Whenever I start thinking to myself that I’ve got it all figured out, and I don’t need anyone to tell me how to write a story, I’ll pop in Episode III, watch it, and remind myself “George thinks exactly the same thing.”

If that doesn’t humble you and make you eager to hear other people’s opinions again, nothing will.