Caller ID Is There For A Reason

Mental note to self:

The next time the phone rings in a your Old Friend’s home, do NOT just arbitrarily pick up the phone and say “Hello, [Old Friend's Last Name] residence, the mistress isn’t in, how can I help you?”

Especially do NOT do this when the other person on the line is Old Friend’s mom, who, after a few moments of shocked silence asks, “Who… IS… this?!?”

And then reply with an abashed, “Oh… hello Mrs. [Old Friend's Last Name]… er… how’ve you been?”

“WHO… IS… THIS?!”

Fortunately after revealing who the moron was, she immediately went back into friendly mode (I was the always the nice, but disturbingly odd young man in Old Friend’s life, who was either destined to have a nice, odd life, or else bury several busloads worth of children in my backyard in her mother’s opinion, I suspect), and I brought her up to speed on what I was doing, who I was married to, but not why I was referring to her beloved daughter as Mistress.

Mouth, meet foot. I knew you two were meant for each other…

Oh, and I managed to get my articles in on time. A quiet, productive day with a little bit of work and a little bit of humiliation. Perfect…

God, I’m such a schmuck…