Again With The Bizarre Sleeping Hours

Sleeping and waking hours are once again in disarray as we try to get back onto the day cycle so that we can reasonably interact with The In-Laws when we visit them on the 20th in the USA. As a result, we woke up at 9 pm today. However before we went to bed, we did venture out in the morning into the crisp, chilly bowels of Chinatown to do a supply run on those Asian ingredients that you just can’t buy out in the middle of Nowhere, USA, that the In-Laws have been desperately craving, and only had a taste of when they visited us a few months back. While shopping, I laid eyes on the Single Most Awesome Translation of “You break it, you bought it” I have ever seen in my life. In Singapore, they write in a very faux-British, “Once broken, considered sold.” In the Chinese grocery store we found ourselves in, I guess they must have just run it through Babelfish or something, because it came out:

Destroys Oneself Compensates.

That is genius.

We are now only nine days away from Rock Band. Anticipation has taken on the consistency of cholesterol in my arteries that threatens to block a vessel and cause some kind of stroke. Here is a sample of some of the Incredible Badness that is going to rock North America when the Non-Musically Inclined get a hold of this monster:

You Guessed It…

The Rock Band madness continues, with IGN showing off a new bonus song that will be included in the game. I haven’t actually seen the South Park episode in which this songs appears, but hey, if it’s South Park, how bad can it be?

Just ten more days!

The Countdown Continues

Now with only 11 days left until the game ships, Harmonix has made an announcement about future songs that will appearing as downloadable content once the game hits stores. My. GOD.

Now each song has a link to its respective youtube video.

Police pack (Masters)
Roxanne, Synchronicty II, Can’t Stand Losing You

Queens of the Stone Age pack (Masters)
3s and 7s, Sick Sick Sick, Little Sister

Metallica pack:
A three or six song pack, no songs announced yet

Black Sabbath pack (Covers):
N.I.B, Sweet Leaf, War Pigs

David Bowie (Masters):
Moonage Daydream, Heroes, Queen Bitch

Punk Pack (Buzzcocks Cover, Rest Masters):
Ever Fallen in Love by Buzzcocks, I Fought the Law by The Clash, Rockaway Beach by The Ramones

Single Songs:
Fortunate Son by Creedence Clearwater Revival
Juke Box Hero by Foreigner
My Sharona by The Knack
Cherry Bomb by The Runaways
Bang a Gong (Get it On) by T-Rex
Joker and the Thief by Wolfmother
Brass in Pocket by The Pretenders
My Iron Lung by Radiohead
Buddy Holly by Weezer

As to be expected, Activision/Neversoft is doing the exact same incredibly bad job with supporting Guitar Hero III with DLC, pretty much the way they abused GHII users the last time around on the Xbox 360. Unfortunately, they are forgetting that they’re now going up against an MTV-backed Harmonix, so I fully expect that Rock Band‘s incredible range of songs is going to kick those bastards in the teeth they way those swill merchants deserve. I say again, Activision deserves everything that comes to them when they kill the rock for the sake of bucks.

And To Continue With The Rock Band Obsessiveness

Now that it’s officially less than two weeks before the game goes on sale, I am pretty much doing a Hyperactive 8 Year Old Shuffle as the waiting goes from faint buzz in the back of my brain to a searing agony culled from the flaming pools of hell itself. To ease the pain, here is yet more Rock Band related marketing as MTV begins its media blitz with a not-as-funny-as-Spinal-Tap “rockumentary” about the fictional band, “Rock Band Band.” However, they did get Many Moore, Dave Mustaine, and that Evanescence chick to put in cameos…

Vintage

My PS3 must hate me. A 21st century machine that can fold proteins and has some of the best looking games I’ve seen to date… And I keep abusing it by giving it things to chew on that are far, far beneath it. The Wife decided that today was the day, and so she dragged me down to the vintage game store she found, and we did not walk away empty handed. Being in that place was scary. They had a shelf with old consoles, and standing in front of that thing, it was like my entire childhood was suddenly put before my eyes. The old Atari 2600 with wood grain paneling. The Mattel Intellivision, my hated for during the 80′s for being the “rival” console (now replaced in 2007 with the Microsoft Xbox 360) the Colecovision, a 32K monster that I whiled away many an hour at friend’s houses playing Donkey Kong and Zaxxon, the SEGA Master System, the first console I ever bought with my own money. The SEGA Genesis complete with SEGA CD module and deck, on which I played games like Lunar: The Silver Star Story, the Super Nintendo, where I first played Final Fantasy VI. The 3DO, a system so ahead of its time (it used CDs first) that when it first debuted on the market, it sold for $700. It was kind of eerie looking at all that tech, and realizing that at one time or another over the last 20 or so years, I either owned, played or coveted all this stuff, and now here they were, like museum pieces that were quaint examples of a more innocent time. Of course, we didn’t leave empty handed, and now, much to the horror of my PS3, we have these games for the machine to play:

This one is a particularly bitter pill to swallow in some respects. I actually owned the game previously, and remember shelling out $120 in Singapore dollars to play it. Unfortunately, a few years back, I foolishly loaned it to someone who, when approached for a return of said game (and my original Metal Gear Solid) said that he didn’t know what I was talking about, and insisted that he didn’t have it.

Now I have it again, and it’s quite an eye-opener to see it in action after all these years. The pre-rendered CG cut-scenes that made me nearly cry with wonder can be easily rendered in real time by the system that’s playing it. Although that doesn’t lessen the impact of one of the most shocking plot twists in gaming history. It’s good to have it back again, even if my version is a “Greatest Hits” reissue, rather than the original one.

Final Fantasy IV is the first FF game to appear on the Super Nintendo, and is still noteworthy for its story, even if its mechanics seem quaintly primitive by today’s standards. There weren’t many games that started out with you playing the role of a morally ambiguous bad guy sort who eventually sees the light and fights for good, but this was one of the first.

It’s weird to go back and see the incredibly humble roots that the FF universe began with. Even FFVII is already showing a remarkable level of polish and cinematic awareness, but this game, running on something that would barely be considered a console by today’s standards, manages to pull off a lot of interesting mechanics and plot points simply by virtue of the fact that the developers were forced to get clever as a result of the limitations of the console. It’s interesting to go back now to this game and see how much of it required some imagination on the part of the player, as opposed to the gorgeous CG-laden cut-scene fests that gamers have become accustomed to today. I don’t think it would be possible for anyone below the age of 20 to be able to play this anymore.

And finally, Chrono Trigger, which also originally appeared on the Super Nintendo, but much later in its life cycle, with greatly improved graphics, compared to FFIV. This game is one of a few that are frequently cited in Top Ten and Top Five lists for Greatest RPGs Of All Time. I am shocked to say, however, that while I remember playing it, and even finishing it, I have almost no recollection at all about the story, except that there’s lots of time travelling involved and one of your buddies is a frog. The character designs, by famed artist Akiray Toriyama of Dragonball (the anime) and Dragon Quest (the game) fame also did duty on this RPG, for a definitively 80′s, slightly more buoyant, juvenile feel. There are something like 12 endings to the game, though, so this game has an immense amount of replay value. Seriously, they just don’t make ‘em like THAT anymore…

And on a final note, Harmonix has gone and overhauled the official Rock Band Website in preparation for the game’s debut. There is tons of stuff in there now. It pains me to absorb all that extra content, and yet, I can’t stop watching… Just 13 days and then the pain of not having Rock Band ends, only to be replaced by the pain of having it but not being able to play it for four days. My God, the singer can crowd surf… guitarist and singer can lean back to back and sing together… I CAN’T TAKE THIS ANYMORE…

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!

OH MY GOD. I FINALLY BEAT FREEBIRD ON EXPERT…

There is nausea. Happy nausea that comes from a body that is finally unwinding after seeing the failure screen a million buzillion times. The kind of nausea that says “you will pay for this in the morning.” The kind of nausea that says “Congratulations, can we die now?” My hand feels like it’s going to strangle me in my sleep for what I made it do to achieve this, but finally, OH THANK THE GODS, FINALLY… That song is actually done…

I have my battle-axe. Today, I sleep the sleep of the just. And the terminally, stupidly stubborn.

And it is time to say goodbye to my Gibson SG. I feel like someone just shot my dog. I don’t know, maybe the thing was already on its last legs, and ready to die, but stubbornly holding on for my sake. Immediately after finishing Freebird I tried playing with it again… and my whammy bar no longer works. I can still move it, but it no longer gathers star power or distorts the note. The timing is eerie. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say it was sheer will power and loyalty that kept the thing going, and now, it’s task done, it finally allowed itself to die.

It was a good guitar. I will miss it…

Quiet. Occupied

Finished off the GameAxis articles for the month, and started on some stuff for the kid’s comic. In an effort to keep the momentum going (just a little over two weeks now!) here is a video of songs that appear in Rock Band. It’s not quite up to date, but it still covers the majority.

80′s Weekend

The only event of note was finally ending Daylight Savings Time. Other than that, it was a pretty quiet day, with a visit with all the neighbors, and an 80′s movie marathon consisting of Monster Squad, The Goonies and Beetlejuice. Ah, the memories. Sometimes I think that the 80′s were the last decade where it was possible to make innocent movies like these for a pre-teen age group.

Or maybe they still do and I just don’t pay attention anymore…

The One To Watch In 2008

There is a new game coming in 2008. Big surprise that. But this is not just any game that is designed to appeal to a traditional gamer-base. No, this game could be something truly special. This game could be brilliant. This game will also likely sell nowhere near the number of copies it deserves. It’s coming to the Xbox 360 and Playstation 3. It is called Brütal Legend. Why should you care?

Two words. Tim. Schafer.

And now, witness:

Another Boring Day

Wrote articles. Did some shopping in the neighborhood. Downloaded new stuff off the Playstation Store. Oh, and I forgot to mention the Wife bought this for herself yesterday:

For people that don’t know their Final Fantasy-lore, the creature on the left is known as a “Tonberry.” It is a cute little lizard thing that wields a tiny butcher’s knife. This seemingly harmless creature is the bane of any encounter in a FF game simply because it has an obscene number of hit points (think 9999) and slowly advances towards you with each turn as you try in panicked fashion to pummel it. If it should manage to get within striking distance of your character, it pokes you with that little knife which means instant death. It is the Wife’s favorite FF monster. She could not resist when she saw this, and bought it a funky vintage gaming store on Bloor and Spadina. I think she scored major points for a) being a girl and b) being a girl that actually KNEW what this was…