The Game Geek Lives

Today (That phrase being a highly relativistic one, dependent on such factors as whether one can truly consider it “day” when I’m a night person and whether you are reading this in Europe, North America or Asia) I put together my first interview with a game developer.

Somehow, this marks something of a minor milestone for me. In the same way that I got a huge kick when I read my byline on my first published short story, or saw my name in the credits for my first television show, this moment of actually interacting with someone who is responsible for contributing to the hobby that has provided me with so much pure escape over the decades felt like I had actually accomplished something.

While it’s true that this was for a free java-based MMORPG it’s still a game and these guys worked hard on it, so I still feel there’s a certain measure of respect that’s got to be given to these Coders Of Fun, and it was neat to actually be able to ask questions and get answers and not be treated as a fan or enthusiast at some Con, but actually be considered someone within the industry that had the power to make them look good or bad.

I made them look good, of course. Although the interview came out to be a little over 1,000 words, and the limit for the interview segment was 400, so there was quite a bit of chopping up done and deletions of entire questions and answers to get it to fit, but such is journalism for ya’… No massive novels with unlimited word counts here…

It has been, surprisingly enough, a remarkably productive last couple of days.

I got a few of the articles out of the way, mostly the easy rant-based ones, one on the glory of early geek anime wunderkind Robotech: The Macross Saga for The Geek Vault, and the other on the importance of story in games for the rant column I.M.H.O, because apparently the previous contribution was more of a friendly essay than monomanical diatribe. I’ve reviewed the Runescape free java based MMORPG, wrote my feature piece on it, and compiled my interview, which, by the way, received this little note from the developers at Jagex:

Wayne

I am now pushing graphics to get together some images – any special requests?

Ahhh… the power of being a journalist in the gaming industry…

I’ve also finally received my e-mail addresses for the people I need to interview for the other “regular” MMORPG game that you have to pay to play so I can finally get started on that article. And, at long last, I finally finished my Charlie’s Monsters #2 story. Anyone that’s interested in seeing how Charlie’s Monsters #1 turned out can see it here.

Incidentally it looks like Charlie’s Monsters has been picked up by a new online comics website called Creature Feature Comics.com and will soon be making regular appearances there. They’re going to enable a tracking system to see which are the most popular comics so take on pity on us and click like mad on Charlie’s Monsters when it makes its debut! Stay tuned for more shameless promotion!

This will also allow me to get to work on Cm #3, tentatively entitled “The Hoe-Ray” wherein an evil scientist develops a morph-o-matic beam that transforms average, decent women into… Hoes. This will be a two parter, since I’m using it to vent many issues with the corporate world, such as a sexed up advertising accounts executive getting hit with the Hoe Ray and remaining exactly the same.

Too… Scary…

I’m STILL playing Fatal Frame at the moment, determined to get the super features that will make my camera nigh invincible and finally allow me to take revenge on all those God Damn Ghosts that have been giving me the Free Willies since I started playing. Nearly there now, just have to complete the incredibly difficult “Fatal Mode” and those sweet, sweet power-ups will be mine…

Stupid Cat

Uno is getting more aggressive with her domination of the household. This does not mean that she’s actually attacking Zero, but she has realized that merely moving towards him sends him scurrying and so is using this (Admittedly minimal effort on her part) tactic to take up all the sweet spots that he used to favor, like the window with the best sunbeam in the morning, or the rug.

I am hoping in utter futility that there will come a day when Zero finally realizes that not only is he bigger than she is, but also far more physically fit and combat-worthy. She is, after all, a pudgy sort of kitty, who probably has a little bit of Persian in her considering her squat appearance and dinky little legs. So far his actual physical superiority has done little to give him any kind of tactical advantage since he freaks and runs at the slightest provocation. I feel sorry for my poor, cowardly kitty, but if he’d just use some of that muscle and fang nature saw fit to give him, he wouldn’t find his territory progressively shrinking…

Vice City Is My Bitch

Yep, after neglecting the girlfriend for days on end running guns, running drugs, running people over, Vice City is at long last my town. Once again, my obsessive compulsive gaming disorder just wouldn’t let me walk away from the game without getting 100% completion, an act of supreme tediousness, but with large, LARGE payoffs, like the AH-64 attack helicopter, or the Rhino tank. It was a good game. One of the best I’ve played in years. I get on my knees and worship at Rockstar’s feet, for a game like this shall not soon grace a console again.

Which means that it’s time to start working on other things.

No, not games.

There’s the question of employment. I suppose I’ll have to schmooze off friends (Are you reading this, people?) or troll through the magazines once more and churn out turgid reviews for Cleo and Her World. Sigh… it’s a living, I suppose.

Me: So, tell me why you prefer to have your armpits unshaven.

Militant Lesbian: IT’S A STATEMENT AGAINST THE FASCIST, PATRIARCHAL REPRESSION FOISTED UPON US BY THE GENETIC DEFECT KNOWN AS MAN!!

Me: Couldn’t get a date for the highschool prom, huh?

ML: FUCK OFF!

This sort of thing will never appear in my author’s bio.

And of course, there’s the ACTUAL writing.

The third novel Suzy & The Shifters (Originally the first novel was going to be titled that, but then my agent and the publisher both had misgivings, as they felt it sounded like a cheesy 50′s band and I said, “YEAH! COOL ISN’T IT?!?” And they began to seriously question my credibility, thus we have Shift for novel one. Suzy & The Shifters works better as an anthology title anyway, since it is about Suzy and her various shifter friends) is still waiting for completion. I’m in no big hurry, because novels one and two have yet to see the light of day, but I’m pretty sure it’ll come to pass eventually, and I can stop being an obnoxious, pretentious wannabe novelist and be a pretentious, obnoxious novelist. The Suzy unicorn short story is nearly done. The Jen serial killer story has more or less written itself in my head. The Canadian Anthology open spaces has rejected my Suzy story, but they said they liked the way I write, so they’re breaking their own rules and asking for a third submission, since the submission date has been extended to April. Since they liked Jen so much, I guess I’ll just crank out the Jen serial killer story (SOMEONE! HELP ME! I SUCK AT TITLES!) and give them that. In other writerly news, Flashquake.com, the website that publishes stories of 1,000 words or less, has told me that they’re considering Famine & Pestilence Go To Dinner and to sit tight for the final result. Anyone who hasn’t read it, just e-mail me and I’ll send you a file, since I think I’d get in trouble with them AND my agent if I start posting stories here.

Ah, and then there’s Nowhere…

This is going to be fun. The first issue is nearly done. I have to wait for the girlfriend to finish up her four issue mini-series with an American Indy comics company, but once that’s done, she’ll pencil issue one, possibly do the cover, and then we’ll shop it around to the various publishers and see if there’s any interest. I sure hope this doesn’t turn into one of those things where the comic comes out before the novels do. Then EVERYONE would accuse me of pulling a Gaiman to a ridiculous degree. I think it’ll be a fun title. We’ve got two Elf brothers, one a super-cool assassin type by the name of Fenoril, and his younger sibling Judas, who is sarcastic, video-game and geek-movie obsessed spellcaster (Remind you of anyone you know? Of cooooooourse nooooot…) who’s ultimate battle cry when conjuring up fireballs is either “SO THERE!” or “Shooooryuken!”

Then there’s the popculture junkie/amazon Cheryl, who learned everything about the world of man through cable television (When she gets angry, she screams “Kaneeeeedaaaaaaaa!!”) and C, the vampire chick who prefers taking her blood in ice, 7-11 style with the paper cup and protective plastic lid on top, straw included. I think it’s going to be utterly deranged since we already deranged Scottish bands with songs like The Bitch From Ipanema (Opening lines, “Tall and tanned and young and lovely, that BITCH from Ipanema she dumped me, and when she told me we’re done, I went and screamed Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh!”) the infamous One Dollar Man, a deranged Chinese merchant (“I sell you good gun! One dollar only! No find gun like this for one dollar, but you, I sell you, one dollar! Buy gun, stupid white man, I sell cheap!”) and Spanky the Ouija Monkey (“Spank me or I’ll kill you.”). Oh and a clone of Jesus running around, hooking up with frat parties and break dancing on the pool or cheating at chugging contests by changing the beer to water as he drinks it.

“Chug, chug, chug! Jeeesus! Jeeesus! Jeeesus! GO!”

The arc of the story has more or less been figured out. In a perfect world, we’d tell the entire story in about 100 issues or so, with three major arcs. We’ll see whether we can make this happen or not.

Oh well… anybody looking for freelance work?